Welcome to Nowhere

there's really no point reading this entry because it's just gonna say the same thing all over again. i am seriously going to miss home. the thought of it makes me wanna cry. i guess i'm so accustomed to living here that the thought of relocating for a pathetic period of 5 months makes me feel sad. extremely sad. sadder than i thought i'd be. there is actually something here that makes me want to stay yet, at the same time i know it would be much wiser for me to go. (besides there's no turning back now, i HAVE to go).

i taught my mom and sister how to use skype. the way my mom squealed in delight and awe of technology did make me feel even sadder, not so much that i am leaving but rather my sister too will be leaving (and i probably won't feel it till i'm back) and there's so many things that skype cannot capture. i want to be there when the chikus in the garden ripen, i want to see what's on tv, laze on the couch... i want to see if the couch is even the same. its sad to say that this is just another way of losing time... i want to be there, i want to be there to witness the most insignificant happenings in the lives of my loved ones, yet it would be unbearable to sit through the semester with thoughts of what would have been if i did not reject the offer.

wow, i'm really more resistant to change than what i thought i was...
must. not. cry. at. airport. crying. is. for. fags.