Praying for love in a lap-dance, and paying in naivety

my head is a mess. there are so many things i want to talk about, so many epiphanies that i've kept in or told a significant other but just not on a blog, no. this post will be rather muddled and crappy. this semester is make or break- in every sense of the word. hall has a last chance to prove itself to me, and there are other things that i want to make sure i get like the exchange programme. there are so many things i have to achieve this year, and i've yet to come up with my Resolutions for 2009. it's not like i stick to them anyway, but at least i should know what the ultimate aim is. i guess everyone gets really tired if they rely on other things of the world to move forward but this semester i'm going to try and rely on God's strength whenever i think i can't make it any longer. also, working for God does make life a wee bit more meaningful, at the very least. thanks Zara, it came at the right time (:

speaking of which, i thank God for people like rachel, zara and daniel who try to make me more positive and helping me out whenever you can. (: you guys are really worth keeping as friends, and for being so grounded in what you believe, thank you. i really love you all so much and i'm so sorry for not being there especially when i get caught up in other things. God bless all of you. i guess this year has shown me what's really really important to me. real relationships, quality over quantity anytime! i'm really thankful for my mom who realised that she's been neglecting the emotional aspect of relationships, and she's been trying to make up for it even though i'm hardly home. and yes there's yuen huay shan who has been diligently replying my emo emails and i guess our email exchanges sound pretty hilarious to the outsider but honestly we are two very insecure people ok! haha, thanks for being there huay shan(: you keep putting yourself down when in fact i don't even think that way about you la! hahaha!!! okay i'm going to reply you now.

don't be sad if your name is not in this post okay? i still love you all (not all, but the usual readers) and lcxy, our cake baking session! i don't expect a response since she's overseas. die so now i don't know what to do since i can't make it on the 29th. maybe feb ok?

on a less emotional note, I TRIED ONLINE SHOPPING FOR THE FIRST TIME!!! (: ok what i ordered wasn't exactly super nice but it was quite an interesting experience. waiting for my mail to arrive! hopefully just before chinese new year so i don't need to wear the grey top.

this weekend's going to be a whole lot of partying, if i even decide to go for it (and if time permits)... ah so little time in our hands. okay i'm going to be a nerd now hahahahahaha.