a movie's never made you famous, all your dreams got lost or traded

i'm gonna make this a long post since i'll be gone for some time. finally a well deserved leave.... where i can sit down and go online proper, underpaid and overworked! recently i've been going online secretly so i can delay the need to get my stuff done, but i got caught that day. zzz. i'm seriously dying from a lack of sleep after brit woke me up when she clambered all over my room getting ready for work plus there are two houses in my vicinity that are renovating, so imagine the hell i have to go through. want to sleep also cannot ):

there's just so many things i want to say but i can't 'coz you never know who's reading this. plus if i do say anything, my friends would probably assume and then..... assumptions would kill. so i'd rather not talk about things here even though it really IS a blog. ): but no emo connotations please! i'm just doing introspection, plus you can't really tell from the tone of my voice can you? hahah pretty funny on second thought since i've completely lost my voice. ok back on tangent.... so many things can happen in a month or rather since after i've collected my results.... when you lose something, you gain something else- life works this way doesn't it? i'm still struggling, still trying to escape from what's to come, from the decisions i eventually have to make, but somehow when i'm alone it all starts coming back. and yes, i should pray.