ignore the previous post, i just felt down in the dumps. i will most probably be extending my stay in the US and come back in mid may so that i can spend more time travelling with my very busy high-achieving friends -_-
on another note, i left posvar hall after my last lecture and was happily walking home when i realised that the sky is so bright! usually it looks like it's 7pm when it's only 5pm here. this can only mean one thing... winter is coming to an end. come to think of it i no longer layer as much as i did before and my down jacket is now sitting on my luggage abandoned. i've been wearing my trenchcoat pretty much everywhere i go and a blouse/ oversized top with a tank on the inside.
spring is coming. i don't really want it to come yet at the same time it means the temperatures would allow me to wear a pretty spring coat without freezing. at the same time, it also means that i have to go back to singapore. there are of course some things that i can look forward to, like being with my family, hanging out with my friends, playing with sneaker and helping daryl decorate his new room.
a large part of me doesn't really want to, especially knowing that school (NUS) sucks but of course it would be ideal to shift everyone i love and care about here then life would be so perfect and carefree. i guess sometimes there's a reason for everything and i still have to deal with these ghosts of my past that i've been always trying to come to terms with. i don't really like to talk about my struggles but the thought of going home just makes it hurt all over again. maybe, just maybe, this all was my form of escape. life is never perfect and i have to deal with that sad reality, and be resigned to this sad fate.
it's been a struggle seeing how far i've fallen and finding it so hard to get back up again. i wonder what it was like being close to you, being full of joy and being able to overlook the parts of my life that i feel were imperfect. do you still remember me?
perhaps what they say is right, there is always this vacuum in our hearts that only one person can fill.
here are some pictures from my phone that i never got down to uploading.
:D
playing solitaire during game theory hahahahah
uncle sam's
bright skies.... spring is coming ):
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