super massive black hole

wed/thurs was a crazy day(s) i've been away from home for >13 hours. i tossed and turned in bed for about 2 hours the night before and i was late for calling, because i conveniently overslept. however i managed to rush down notsolate by my standards. the actual show was rather tiring, having to sit through the makeup session (w/o breakfast or lunch) then having to change in the toilet without destroying the makeup & hair which was even worse. still i could laugh and joke at such an ungodly hour of the day... really, who in their right state of mind gets up at 11am?! i don't, haven't done so since i quit my job, and i don't intend to sleep and wake up at normal times of the day. one of the project co-ordinators went, "wow, you're super chirpy compared to the rest." hahaha. the worst part is not being able to sit once we've changed. or trying to eat nasi lemak glamly. like who eats glamly these days? hahaha. anyway the shows turned out well, i walked okay, just that i didn't like my first walk, it was too constricted because of a lack of hollywood tape. then jiawen told me to just heck whether i was showing anything and just walk like you own the world, so the second walk was better. made quite a few friends there (: carmen's friendly so is cheryl. i started out only knowing jiawen, and it was kinda scary 'coz... well.. i don't know the whole place intimidates me. i'll post photos once i get hold of them, they're with random people. haha. all in all it was a tiring but all worth it (: in all modelling is fun, just not as a profession!

it was hard to look normal after that, my hair was terrible so was my face (haha bad photos thus) and after that i chionged like a mad warrior to meet up with zr who treated me to MOF (thanks!!!) and talked quite a bit (sorry i had to jetttt) and got a freaking cardigan because i was freezing altho i held up prettyyy well before running over to meet s33 usuals. talked quite a lot and laughed a lot especially over stupid nonsense like "we have to come up with a year in which we have to make sure we all give birth / have kids by then! then we can make sure we send them to VJ just so we can meet up during school events!" haha. late night movie get smart... HAHHAHA SO FUNNY. walaueh elise was shaking in the seat and chengwei was howling like a... i don't know man but i nearly thought i couldn't breathe at one point. i like the unglamness, go hollywood! haha. right so anyway it was already midnight and after all that shit we managed to get home before the clock striked one, i got daryl to walk out and bring me in but he ended up driving me home (we're like living 3 streets away) because he's scared too! HAHAHA. honestly my house area is super scary at night... trying not to remember what lina told me *squeals*

on another note, i just really don't see you as anything more than a friend. i don't know if i should add a sorry when i say this because i don't see what there is to be sorry about. sorry that you're hurt? sorry that...? since boys are stupid i don't think they realise when people are trying to run away from anything uncomfortable, just so you know, i was clearly running away. yeah. i guess i just don't like the idea of relationships, not when people just assume things and the whole unofficial thing gets in the way. i mean ughhh i don't like grey. black or white would be nice.